These screens are so unbelievably charming!!!
Get in the Car, Loser!
A downloadable game for Windows and macOS
She said "GET IN THE CAR, LOSER! I know you're not up to anything this summer, I've got the Sword of Fate, and there's an ancient evil that needs to be sealed away."
Everyone knows the story of how the great hero of legend Agi of Roses fought the Machine Devil and used the Sword of Fate to seal him away for a thousand years. Now, hateful Machine Devil cultist edgelords are spreading terror in order to summon him again, and the Divine Order that rules over our world claims that fighting them before it's too late would be "just as bad as them."
That's bullshit, and that's why three young attendees of the local Academy of Order and one renegade angel from the Divine Order are heading off on a road trip to take the fight to the Machine Devil and his cultists. Will Sam Anon succeed in her mission to seal away evil for another thousand years, hit every diner along the road on the way, AND make it through a single conversation without blushing over her beautiful companions? The toughest challenges she's ever faced in her life lie ahead!
A lesbian road trip RPG by the co-creator of Ladykiller in a Bind about fighting for love and justice in the face of indifference, and "discovering yourself," whatever the fuck that means.
Battle Specialty: Support/Ravage
The protagonist of the story, your new goth girlfriend, and the titular loser. She has no idea how she got roped into this trip (it's because she is a lesbian disaster who would do anything a pretty girl told her to) but is going to try her best anyway. The healer of the party. Catch her hollering at the Machine Devil about how the void belongs to everyone.
Battle Specialty: Exploit/Destruction
Solid A student/queen bitch of the Academy, and the current wielder of the Sword of Fate (100% stolen). She fights for what's right and isn't afraid to drop some BIG DAMAGE to back that up. You should be excited and grateful to have had the chance to have admired her before she becomes the new hero of legend renowned throughout the land.
Battle Specialty: Exploit/Tank
Grace's cool boyfriend who actually knows how to drive. A former TA at the Academy of Order, currently taking a break to spend the summer smiling in the face of danger. Normally quiet and reserved, but is capable of projecting when it's time to tank in battle for the entire team... or when they come up with a dumb joke.
Battle Specialty: Exploit/Ravage
She big. The Thirty-Second Arm of the Divine Order and an actual literal angel, who has decided she can no longer idly stand by like the rest of the order. She's not sure if it's possible for a being operating on her plane of existence to truly relate to humans, but it seems like it would be fun to try. A completely average fighter by intent, since it would disrupt the divine cosmology if she ever unleashed her true power while fighting alongside mortals, even against the Machine Devil.
- Active time battle system inspired by classic and modern JRPGs—fight strategically and take advantage of each party member's complementary abilities in order to keep momentum on your side and make it through the gauntlet of fights the road throws at you.
- Equipment-based character progression system: each item offers different abilities based off what character you give it to, and can be rearranged on the fly at any time between fights to create completely different party builds.
- Genre-defying pop soundtrack by Christa Lee, because how can you say it's battle music if it doesn't even bang?
- Visual novel inspired dialogue system allows for optimal "shoving your foot in your mouth while shooting the shit in the backseat" experience.
- No sidequests, no maps, no codex entries. Who's got time for that when the world is in peril?!
- Girls. Just... girls... you know...??? They're great
- The Disaster Lesbian Representation We Need In 2021
Plus, the adventure continues in BATTLE ON THE BIG BOARDWALK, an all-new story chapter playable at any point in the game from act 2 onwards! Pay $15 for the game to unlock it automatically, or buy the DLC separately for $5 here!
Sam and friends take a well-deserved break from fighting evil to unwind at the beach, only to have the Sword of Fate taken by a trouble-making interdimensional sword thief. This is no filler episode—there's no time to waste staring at open toe sandals and exposed cleavage when the fate of the world is on the line!
- Unlockable sexy beach outfits for each character to wear in and out of battle, even in the main game!
- 15 endgame items, each with all new abilities that were too weird, specialized, or technical to make it into the main game. No matter what rank you're at, they'll always complement your current loadout without being overpowered... unless you find the right combinations, of course.
- An all new legendary sword with the ability to banish a single enemy to the Shadow Realm per fight, allowing for different strategies than the Sword of Fate gives.
- A full length story chapter with shenanigans on the beach, including a boss fight with our toughest enemies yet.
To install DLC, pay $15 to unlock, then drag the .bundle for your platform into the same directory as the application. If successful, the title screen will say "DLC1 installed." From there, you can launch it at any time from the kiosk in the Treasure Bureau.
By LOVE CONQUERS ALL GAMES: writing/programming/design by Christine Love (Ladykiller in a Bind), concept art by Isaac Robin (Witch Trade), pixel art by August Cartland, music by Christa Lee (Welcome to the Fantasy Zone), vocals by Jami Lynne.
Content note: Get in the Car, Loser! is first and foremost a fun adventure story about self-discovery and triumphing over evil in the face of cosmic indifference. But it's also about fighting a reactionary death cult that's sexist, homophobic, racist, transphobic, including domestic abusers and murderers. Sam will have to face evil on her journey, but she will also have to confront her own internal gender anxieties and self-image doubt. There's nothing wrong with stepping back from a fight until you're emotionally prepared for it.
|Author||Love Conquers All Games|
|Tags||Female Protagonist, Gay, Lesbian, LGBT, Pixel Art|
|Average session||A few hours|
|Mentions||Games of the Week: Free JRPGs and Avian..., The itch.io Halloween Sale and Selects B...|
In order to download this game you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $10 USD. You will get access to the following files:
- Announcing DLC2: The Fate of Another World!96 days ago
- Minor bugfix update 188.8.131.52Aug 15, 2022
- Minor bugfix update 184.108.40.206Jul 21, 2022
- Minor bugfix update 220.127.116.11May 22, 2022
- Minor bugfix update 18.104.22.168May 18, 2022
- Minor bugfix update 22.214.171.124May 11, 2022
- Minor bugfix update 126.96.36.199Apr 14, 2022
- Minor bugfix update 188.8.131.52Apr 14, 2022
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I've been watching my friend Robin stream this game (the perfect and most savage game for pride month 2022), and it's wonderful in so many ways.
If possible, could you release an artbook? I really want to spend some more time with the postcards and all of the beautiful pixel art, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about the design process (if you want and can).
Regardless, thank you for making this game!
Price raise?! Hell yes. I'm halfway through, and it's worth WAY more than ten bucks. Bought it again just to support yall! Thank you for making an awesome game.
this game is amazing! i loved it and i'm definitely going to play it again. i hope the other DLC comes out soon. i don't think i've ever disliked a game by christine love, and christa lee soundtracks are incredible. my only qualm is that i would love a new game plus option (i'm a dingus who didn't get the OP DLC weapons until after i finished the main game. oops.)
5 stars, Wonderful.
This is fucking wonderful congradulations :)
christine why no playstation or at least generic nintendo style button prompts i finally have time to sit down and play this after finalizing the divorce and there's only xbox prompts which i cannot use at all :(
Can you tell me a little more about your controller and platform? It should support PlayStation button prompts, they're what I use myself when developing, so it sounds like you're hitting a bug somewhere.
Oh how bizarre. I am using a DS4 connected directly to bluetooth and NOT using ds4win/etc, just steam connecting directly and recognizing it as a DS4. I do, however, have the big picture mode settings such where xbox controller support and the advanced support is also enabled (required for things like elden ring that have no native ds4 support) so I'm guessing the game is taking that option first?
Ah, okay, I see! What happens if you run the game without Steam—does it pick it up correctly in that case?
I had this problem and disabling the "PlayStation Configuration Support" in steam fixed the prompts. Easy enough but I'd rather not disable that if I don't have to tbh, it lets me make my controller's LED pink!
I love this game, but have been having trouble loading up the game lately. It stays on the loading screen when I open it, and the game used to load quickly for me. I've been playing the itch io version of the game and have this problem, I also tried the Steam version but the loading screen is stuck with the Steam version too. Is there anything I can do to fix this? I play on Windows by the way. Thank you for making such a great game, and I'd love to fix this issue so I can keep playing it!
I'm sorry about that! If you could send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with a little more detail I can look into this—is this loading a save file, or at game launch? If the latter, does it show anything on screen? And is this with or without DLC installed?
hey, thank you for making this! it's been a really good time to play. i was just wondering—in the act 4 intro, the game played no voiceover to match the subtitles in the introduction. this was also the case for the subtitles during the fights in the battle of the boardwalk dlc, which i played after beginning act 4. were no voices recorded for those sections, or was that a bug? i've been loving the radio messages and stuff, so i was curious!
This is definitely a bug, I'm sorry to hear this! Did this happen in any of the other acts, or just the DLC and Act 4? And do you remember during which act you played the DLC?
Also, sorry to ask the obvious, but are you sure you don't have SFX muted on the options screen?
it was just in those two acts, and i started the dlc directly after entering act 4! (it seemed like a good point emotionally.) i just checked to make sure and i haven't touched the sfx slider at all--it's still at 7/10 bars.
if it's relevant, i'm playing on windows 10! also, i installed the dlc somewhere in the middle of act 3, if i remember correctly.
Thanks—that's very bizarre! Do you happen to have a save file from before you either started act 4 or the DLC? If so, that could be really helpful!
Anyway, thanks for the report, I appreciate it. I'll look into this!
Your game looks like pretty cool, the only problem is that i play on android !
If you make an android Version, i'll buy it !
they look good yes
Thanks for message :) just in case you haven't tried it there is a good android gameboy emulator called John GBC that I use myself to play this an other games on my phone. (i think it has a free version) as for a full android port; it is something I could do but am struggling to find time for projects at the moment so its not likely at this time.
Can't believe I'm playing this for free
the soundtrack is fucking great. i love the combat system. the story and the characters are great. i think what they did in act 3 with Sam is one of my favorite things about the game. the only things I didn't like was that sometimes the fights can feel a little tedious and also there's no auto save.
Thanks! And sorry you missed the autosaves—they have their own page, to the left of page 1 of save files.
This art is so good it hurts.
Two little things, first I really liked the game, although I'm half way through it (I guess half is 6 hours) it's a nice experience, the art (beautiful colors) and the story so original with characters that I like.
Second, I found out that it has a free version on steam, what will happen with the achievements, I have some progress, as soon as I load my game I will jump several achievements?
Any achievements you've qualified for (you can see which ones in the "feats" menu) will trigger automatically in Steam after a short period of the time playing.
One of the rare gems, the has both heart and polish- this game is a delight all the way through and you'd be MISSING the hell out if you pass this one by! The base game is free!!!
The visuals are gorgeous, bright and charming, the main designs land in the sweet spot of both cartoony and HOT, and the npcs occupy a full range in-between.
The music tracks are all a delight- retro JRPG vibes, and the battle music SLAPS- looping delightfully into the characters conversation about how they will be remember, and the game own nostalgic undertones.
The writing feels like well...a big gay road trip- it's fun and silly and I LOVE IT.
The combat is by far the most polarizing part of the game. It's weird remix of JRPG 'ATB' cooldowns and caught me off guard a bit. i was very much expecting a more turn-based system. Act 2/3 (when the elements get introduced) was extremely confusing. And more than a few of the boss battle had me brute forcing my way through them. But we did- because if there's one boss in all of videos I am NOT going to let get the best of me- it's the one at the end of Act 3.
Overall? The game is a delight. And you should grab it!
I don't know anything about this game yet but the title sold me
"Get in the car loser , we're going shopping ." - Regina George
It took me a while to get to, but man oh man, you've really killed it here. I am glad I waited - the Lore Bible is a really helpful feature for me and my urge to collect goddamn every little snippet. Without meaning to put any pressure on you and recognizing that you've worked your butt off on this the last few years, good lord, I am so desperate for more of this. Well done, genius girl.
I do think I've got some kind of bug/unfortunate-brain-itch as a result of grabbing DLC1-1's travel stamp before ACT2's travel stamp, but didn't realize it until I was in ACT3 - is there a workaround? (Psst is there somewhere else I should drop this?)
Sorry about the bug! Can you send more details about what the screen looks like now and during which act you played the DLC during to email@example.com? Thanks!
sam is friggin hot, that's it, that's the post
Charmingly written with a clever combat system. I do find myself frequently wishing for more combat options, however (a small variety of area of effect attacks in particular would be a godsend). With the limited spread of combat actions, the battles grow kind of stale and I find myself dodging fights in the hopes that maybe we'll get to have another conversation instead. But heck do I love hanging out and flirting with my friends. Flirting is the best.
Love it! If you've enjoyed Christine Love's other games, definitely give this a look. If you haven't played any others... definitely give this a look. I was worried about the battle system but it's super fun and clever and gives you the feeling of being a genius when it's going well. Heartfelt, funny, cute, music slaps, etc, etc. And the DLC rules!
e: yeah I guess it is a final fantasy for fans and newcomers alike
I just wanted to let you know that I noticed you included "it fucking sucks" for every single enemy description and it gets funnier every time, thanks
I love this game!! its so fun and Im having a blast :]
Im playing in the steam version and I think I got soft locked though, Im in chapter 3 just before the battle against Sam's anxieties and I was about to fight but instead I saved and exited the game bc I had to go do something, I cant start the fight or get out of there, the music isn't even playing and I don't have any other save file (which is on me sorry) I don't want to have to restart since the beggining what do I do?
I'm sorry, this is a known bug that was fixed in a previous update. You should be able to reload from an autosave file right before that fight, though—please let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org if you still have any problems!
well, its not for me tho, game looks good, but too much elements at the one moment, seems hard to play
I still don't know what folder to install my DLC into so that it will be detected by the game, halp
Please place the .bundle file in the same directory as either the app on Mac, or the .exe file on Windows. You can contact email@example.com if you're still having trouble.
oh my god, it's finally here!!!
This looks amazing !!!
First, something very important to tell you: in act 2 and later, using the same element as the enemy will heal them, and act 3 gets extremely very emotionally heavy with no warning. Okay. Very good. Proceed.
I’ve spent enough time thinking about this game to give it a proper review. This will be mostly positive! I enjoyed my 13 hour experience with the game.
The text and dialogue is awesome. The party members are written well. Their attitudes are consistent, interesting, and funny. I captured many screenshots of funny moments to send to my friends online. The story is linear, with just a few minor text choices along the way, and this isn’t a bad thing. The text from the enemies is equally consistent and interesting, and the not-so-subtle links between the cultists and real-world right-wing shitheads made me smirk at least once.
The other main part of the game is the combat, and this will definitely be polarising, as you’ll see from the other comments here (which do contain spoilers, though), but my experience with it was also extremely positive. When I first saw the combat I was extremely overwhelmed by the interface (perhaps because I hadn’t before played an RPG with multiple commandable allies in fights, but I think it was overwhelming in general). The tutorial freezing time was very much appreciated, but it was still a lot to deal with in the first part of act 1. By the time of the act 1 boss it didn’t feel as overwhelming.
[just after finishing act 1]
cadence: by the way I’m trying the lesbian car game and the combat is actually insane
cadence: it seems complex but I don’t know if it’s actually deep
k: i looked at the video and i could barely process the UI
m: watching okay this is scary
cadence: doing shit is complex, but I don’t know if it’s actually deep, if that makes any sense?
cadence: I’ll let you know how it goes, looks like I’m real early into it
At the start of act 2 after the initial shock had worn off I was doubting whether the combat would be deep enough to captivate me through to the end of the rest of the game. By the end of act 2 I was completely sold, and loving every second of it. The elements in act 2, and the ability variety in act 4 (as well as mostly dropping the elements at that point) were much more than I had hoped for.
My favourite part of the combat, by far, was how much the party members actually managed to fill their roles, which was hard to feel at first, but if one of them is defeated, you really feel their loss. If Sam [the healer] is defeated, the rest aren’t long for this world. If Valentin [tank] is down, their taunt ability ends, and the enemies start attacking the rest of you at a rate that’s too high for Sam to easily keep up with. This really makes you feel the dynamics and coherence of the party and this blew me away when it made me notice that DPS really isn’t everything, and keeping the party members active is. I LOVE THIS. GOOD JOB, CHRISTINE. THIS WAS AWESOME. I AM IMPRESSED.
[right at the end of act 2]
cadence: okay, the combat in get in the car loser is really good. I’m sold.
The music is also incredible and I am going to buy it. I took most optional battles and listened to Spirit of the Times for several hours in all. I am not even slightly tired of it. It did not start to become grating. I love this song.
I liked the diner sections. They’re just, nice, yknow?
So, now for the bad.
I found the pixelated text font a little hard to read at times, especially the “text log”. I reckon the text log could benefit from an opaque background, a smaller font, and a better layout. (A small portrait of the person’s face next to their text could be nice!)
There’s not that much enemy variety.
I’m really disappointed with the gameplay of the beach DLC. Like, the premise of the entire thing is that sword lady is really annoying and gives you really annoying challenges over and over. Everyone comments about how annoyed they are at the annoying challenges, which are annoying to play, on purpose.
Christine, here is some feedback directly for you: If a section is annoying and unfun, you can talk all day about how annoying it is, but it’s still annoying and unfun to play. You deliberately designed it this way, as evidenced by the dialogue. In the next 2 DLC chapters, please don’t make the game unfun on purpose, okay? You can do some really cool stuff, like the entire main game!
The DLC chapter took me 40 minutes to complete, and I was smiling until I reached the first of sword lady’s challenges.
The maze was not interesting. The “talk to everybody until you get keys” thing was not interesting. The random encounters section sucked. I didn’t mind the road at all because I knew when the next combat would be - adding random encounters to that area made things so much worse. Would it have killed you to add groups of enemies to the world, and to trigger combat when you step next to them, and to make them go away once you’ve defeated them? Seriously, I loved the road fights, and I hated the random encounters. Please don’t do random encounters again.
The final fight with the thief was fine. I don’t understand what causes them to heal, which was a little frustrating, but I got there in the end through the power of banishing her partner and then pressing the attack buttons. Thank you, Zantetsuken.
Christa once again bowls a perfect 300 on the soundtrack, thankfully; and hiring an outfit designer here was absolutely worth it.
The good things about this game GREATLY outweigh the bad. The bad things I mentioned are either nitpicks or DLC-only issues.
- Should you play this for free? Yes!
- Is it good enough that you should give the authors $10 (and unlock the DLC?) Yes!
- Is it worth playing the DLC that you just paid for? Not unless you REALLY like the beach outfits, or want a sword that can send enemies to the shadow realm.
Hope this was insightful to some of you, and I’ll return with a smile when the (spirit of the) time comes to get my DLC 2 travel stamp. Peace! <3
One major issue with a specific boss:
Holy fuck can we please get some sort of "I have absolutely zero interest in listening to repeated transphobic and fascist bullshit, let me skip to the part where we beat this scumbag into the ground." button for Gaius?
That dialogue drags on well beyond any reasonable degree of tolerance, and if the deadnaming is censored then why not censor the misgendering similarly?
I get that it's hammering in "This is a bad person", but it's not fun, it's not interesting, it's wasting my time and presenting far-too-real bigotry that I would never willingly tolerate for such a duration.
I think hold space to skip option like when you're redoing a battle post loss would be good, could have flavour text like "bigoted nonsense skipper"
1) The characters strength is very weak but the monster HP is a lot, how the hell am I suppose to kill them. Not to be rude but can you gains all the characters ATK
2) The BMG is wonderful, Is there the list of that?
You're meant to be leveling up your items like the tutorial demonstrated, and using Ravage to amplify your Exploit damage, along with Taunt and Heal for sustain.
If you're struggling, make sure you're upgrading ALL your equipped items and then buying the next tier at the shop.
Been waiting for this for a long time and really like it so far! I hate to even ask this question because the game's aesthetic is so stylish but...is there a way to alter the in-game font to something less pixelated? I find the smaller text for item descriptions, weapon stories, etc., extremely difficult to read unless I take the resolution down to a pretty small window. If it's baked into the game I can make do, but just wanted to check, thanks!
does this game work with protonplay through steam? i hate running wine by myself. or is there a linux version planned for the future?
The game runs fine on Linux in Wine. I have tried both 184.108.40.206 and 220.127.116.11 with and without the DLC on Ubuntu 20.04. I have not finished the game yet and will update if I run into any issues.
I really really enjoyed this game. the writing is excellent, and I fell in love with all of the characters; I think Valentin is probably my favorite, but it's a bit like choosing which of your comfort foods is "better" than the others. the combat system was really fun and engaging, and I liked it enough to play on Devil Clock and didn't regret it. I'm excited for the rest of the DLC, and I'd absolutely recommend this to anyone. love the art, love the writing, the soundtrack is a banger, A+ 10/10
How did you manage? The fights are so hard!
the trick is to make sure that you're always leveling to the highest tier of gear available, which is fairly easy once you get access to the stickers—and on Devil Clock you get lots of stickers! otherwise, 5 Battle Energy and the consumable that gives you nuclear element are both extremely powerful, so much so that the game turns the latter one off for most boss fights.
for strategy, using Bleed on the last board, Sam set to Splash Heal, and using debuffs/taunt/Life on the preceding boards while you wait for Sword of Fate was my strategy. Bleed does ridiculous amounts of damage, so I had it on both Val and Grace, with Smite on board one literally just for Smite Only challenges. I used Angela exclusively to generate Ravage meter.
whatever your last board is, is what you'll spend the most time in naturally, so it's good to have it be consistent exploit damage + group healing. whatever your second board is should be buffs and heals, because until you get a Fast passive trinket you should always immediately advance to the second board. I put "situational powerhouse" moves on board one, since you use it the least; there's a combo with Fast passive skills and a tier IX trinket to get powerful staggers easily, but I think it's more fun to figure that out on your own.
Such an amazing game. I just finished it and need to play it again I think!! thank you so much
How exactly do you defeat Deadname? I’ve tried multiple load outs with the 5 battle boost and radiation status items and still cannot seem to kill him.
There's a couple of important things about Deadname which should make the fight easier:
- During his first phase, he won't actually attack you at all - he just counterattacks. That means that you can take the fight entirely at your own pace - if you're low on health, just stop hitting him and heal up.
- Once you drop him to half health, he'll use an attack which will always wipe your whole party except for Sam. Make sure Sam has Life or Half-Life so she can revive the others!
- Once you've got everyone back up, the second phase of the fight is much like the first. The difference now is that he'll start attacking even if you don't hit him first - but he still won't do it very often, so you should be able to get away with using similar tactics. (if you have the DLC, you can just skip this phase with Zantetsuken)
Also, Sam's Slow spell is very good in this fight (as it is in general in fights against a single enemy) - if you combine it with Illegal Fireworks to instantly stagger the boss, you can essentially cheese the fight.
Took a bit of getting used to the controls but was really enjoyable!
Fate doesn't cause damage to the player—it sounds like someone probably just got attacked during the animation. The Sword of Fate in fact does increasing amounts of healing to the party each time you use it, to a maximum of your current rank * 10.
Rank disparities do increasing amounts of damage based on the gap. A Rank III ability attacking a Rank II enemy will do 1.5x damage, but a Rank III ability will do 2x damage.
Are controllers supported on macOS version? If so, any guidance for getting one working?
Definitely supposed to be supported! Can you let me know more about the controller that isn't being detected?
I've tried with both the Xbox Series X (identified by macOS as "Xbox Wireless Controller" and PS5 controllers (identified by macOS as "DualSense Wireless Controller"). The only steps I've taken are to connect the controller via Bluetooth and start the game.
Thanks for the help. I love the game!
I'll look into this, but I think the controller library I use may not support either of those controllers wirelessly. If using a cable isn't an option, I've heard Steam's controller remapping is generally pretty successful, so that may also help.
I have exactly this problem on macOS.
Controller (XSX) only works until I press any of ABXY buttons, after that it loses input until I press "Start" button - basically unplayable.
Same on Steam and itchio versions. Latest gamepad firmware. Latest game patch. Gamepad works perfectly fine on other titles.
lmk if more info needed!