She said "GET IN THE CAR, LOSER! I know you're not up to anything this summer, I've got the Sword of Fate, and there's an ancient evil that needs to be sealed away."
Everyone knows the story of how the great hero of legend Agi of Roses fought the Machine Devil and used the Sword of Fate to seal him away for a thousand years. Now, hateful Machine Devil cultist edgelords are spreading terror in order to summon him again, and the Divine Order that rules over our world claims that fighting them before it's too late would be "just as bad as them."
That's bullshit, and that's why three young attendees of the local Academy of Order and one renegade angel from the Divine Order are heading off on a road trip to take the fight to the Machine Devil and his cultists. Will you succeed in your mission to save the world for another thousand years and hit every diner along the road on the way, or will you just be a useless gay disaster?
A lesbian road trip RPG by the co-creator of Ladykiller in a Bind about fighting for love and justice in the face of indifference, and "discovering yourself," whatever the fuck that means.
Sam Anon Battle Specialty: Support/Ravage she/her
The protagonist of the story, your new goth girlfriend, and the titular loser. She has no idea how she got roped into this trip (it's because she is a lesbian disaster who would do anything a pretty girl told her to) but is going to try her best anyway. The healer of the party. Catch her hollering at the Machine Devil about how the void belongs to everyone.
Grace Morningstar Battle Specialty: Exploit/Destruction she/her
Solid A student/queen bitch of the Academy, and the current wielder of the Sword of Fate (100% stolen). She fights for what's right and isn't afraid to drop some BIG DAMAGE to back that up. You should be excited and grateful to have had the chance to have admired her before she becomes the new hero of legend renowned throughout the land.
Valentin Vaillante Battle Specialty: Exploit/Tank they/them Grace's cool boyfriend who actually knows how to drive. A former TA at the Academy of Order, currently taking a break to spend the summer smiling in the face of danger. Normally quiet and reserved, but is capable of projecting when it's time to tank in battle for the entire team... or when they come up with a dumb joke.
Angela Battle Specialty: Exploit/Ravage she/her She big. The Thirty-Second Arm of the Divine Order and an actual literal angel, who has decided she can no longer idly stand by like the rest of the order. She's not sure if it's possible for a being operating on her plane of existence to truly relate to humans, but it seems like it would be fun to try. A completely average fighter by intent, since it would disrupt the divine cosmology if she ever unleashed her true power while fighting alongside mortals, even against the Machine Devil.
Active time battle system inspired by classic and modern JRPGs—fight strategically and take advantage of each party member's complementary abilities in order to keep momentum on your side and make it through the gauntlet of fights the road throws at you.
Equipment-based character progression system: each item offers different abilities based off what character you give it to, and can be rearranged on the fly at any time between fights to create completely different party builds.
Genre-defying pop soundtrack by Christa Lee, because how can you say it's battle music if it doesn't even bang?
Visual novel inspired dialogue system allows for optimal "shoving your foot in your mouth while shooting the shit in the backseat" experience.
No sidequests, no maps, no codex entries. Who's got time for that when the world is in peril?!
Girls. Just... girls... you know...??? They're great
The Disaster Lesbian Representation We Need In 2021
Plus, if you pay $10 for the game, the adventure continues in BATTLE ON THE BIG BOARDWALK, an all-new story chapter playable at any point in the game from act 2 onwards!
Sam and friends take a well-deserved break from fighting evil to unwind at the beach, only to have the Sword of Fate taken by a trouble-making interdimensional sword thief. This is no filler episode—there's no time to waste staring at open toe sandals and exposed cleavage when the fate of the world is on the line!
Unlockable sexy beach outfits for each character to wear in and out of battle, even in the main game!
15 endgame items, each with all new abilities that were too weird, specialized, or technical to make it into the main game. No matter what rank you're at, they'll always complement your current loadout without being overpowered... unless you find the right combinations, of course.
An all new legendary sword with the ability to banish a single enemy to the Shadow Realm per fight, allowing for different strategies than the Sword of Fate gives.
A full length story chapter with shenanigans on the beach, including a boss fight with our toughest enemies yet.
To install DLC, pay $10 to unlock, then drag the .bundle for your platform into the same directory as the application. If successful, the title screen will say "DLC1 installed." From there, you can launch it at any time from the kiosk in the Treasure Bureau.
Content note: Get in the Car, Loser! is first and foremost a fun adventure story about self-discovery and triumphing over evil in the face of cosmic indifference. But it's also about fighting a reactionary death cult that's sexist, homophobic, racist, transphobic, including domestic abusers and murderers. Sam will have to face evil on her journey, but she will also have to confront her own internal gender anxieties and self-image doubt. There's nothing wrong with stepping back from a fight until you're emotionally prepared for it.
Love it! If you've enjoyed Christine Love's other games, definitely give this a look. If you haven't played any others... definitely give this a look. I was worried about the battle system but it's super fun and clever and gives you the feeling of being a genius when it's going well. Heartfelt, funny, cute, music slaps, etc, etc. And the DLC rules!
e: yeah I guess it is a final fantasy for fans and newcomers alike
I love this game!! its so fun and Im having a blast :]
Im playing in the steam version and I think I got soft locked though, Im in chapter 3 just before the battle against Sam's anxieties and I was about to fight but instead I saved and exited the game bc I had to go do something, I cant start the fight or get out of there, the music isn't even playing and I don't have any other save file (which is on me sorry) I don't want to have to restart since the beggining what do I do?
I'm sorry, this is a known bug that was fixed in a previous update. You should be able to reload from an autosave file right before that fight, though—please let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org if you still have any problems!
First, something very important to tell you: in act 2 and later, using the same element as the enemy will heal them, and act 3 gets extremely very emotionally heavy with no warning. Okay. Very good. Proceed.
I’ve spent enough time thinking about this game to give it a proper review. This will be mostly positive! I enjoyed my 13 hour experience with the game.
The text and dialogue is awesome. The party members are written well. Their attitudes are consistent, interesting, and funny. I captured many screenshots of funny moments to send to my friends online. The story is linear, with just a few minor text choices along the way, and this isn’t a bad thing. The text from the enemies is equally consistent and interesting, and the not-so-subtle links between the cultists and real-world right-wing shitheads made me smirk at least once.
The other main part of the game is the combat, and this will definitely be polarising, as you’ll see from the other comments here (which do contain spoilers, though), but my experience with it was also extremely positive. When I first saw the combat I was extremely overwhelmed by the interface (perhaps because I hadn’t before played an RPG with multiple commandable allies in fights, but I think it was overwhelming in general). The tutorial freezing time was very much appreciated, but it was still a lot to deal with in the first part of act 1. By the time of the act 1 boss it didn’t feel as overwhelming.
[just after finishing act 1]
cadence: by the way I’m trying the lesbian car game and the combat is actually insane
cadence: it seems complex but I don’t know if it’s actually deep
k: i looked at the video and i could barely process the UI
m: watching okay this is scary
cadence: doing shit is complex, but I don’t know if it’s actually deep, if that makes any sense?
cadence: I’ll let you know how it goes, looks like I’m real early into it
At the start of act 2 after the initial shock had worn off I was doubting whether the combat would be deep enough to captivate me through to the end of the rest of the game. By the end of act 2 I was completely sold, and loving every second of it. The elements in act 2, and the ability variety in act 4 (as well as mostly dropping the elements at that point) were much more than I had hoped for.
My favourite part of the combat, by far, was how much the party members actually managed to fill their roles, which was hard to feel at first, but if one of them is defeated, you really feel their loss. If Sam [the healer] is defeated, the rest aren’t long for this world. If Valentin [tank] is down, their taunt ability ends, and the enemies start attacking the rest of you at a rate that’s too high for Sam to easily keep up with. This really makes you feel the dynamics and coherence of the party and this blew me away when it made me notice that DPS really isn’t everything, and keeping the party members active is. I LOVE THIS. GOOD JOB, CHRISTINE. THIS WAS AWESOME. I AM IMPRESSED.
[right at the end of act 2]
cadence: okay, the combat in get in the car loser is really good. I’m sold.
The music is also incredible and I am going to buy it. I took most optional battles and listened to Spirit of the Times for several hours in all. I am not even slightly tired of it. It did not start to become grating. I love this song.
I liked the diner sections. They’re just, nice, yknow?
So, now for the bad.
I found the pixelated text font a little hard to read at times, especially the “text log”. I reckon the text log could benefit from an opaque background, a smaller font, and a better layout. (A small portrait of the person’s face next to their text could be nice!)
There’s not that much enemy variety.
I’m really disappointed with the gameplay of the beach DLC. Like, the premise of the entire thing is that sword lady is really annoying and gives you really annoying challenges over and over. Everyone comments about how annoyed they are at the annoying challenges, which are annoying to play, on purpose.
Christine, here is some feedback directly for you: If a section is annoying and unfun, you can talk all day about how annoying it is, but it’s still annoying and unfun to play. You deliberately designed it this way, as evidenced by the dialogue. In the next 2 DLC chapters, please don’t make the game unfun on purpose, okay? You can do some really cool stuff, like the entire main game!
The DLC chapter took me 40 minutes to complete, and I was smiling until I reached the first of sword lady’s challenges.
The maze was not interesting. The “talk to everybody until you get keys” thing was not interesting. The random encounters section sucked. I didn’t mind the road at all because I knew when the next combat would be - adding random encounters to that area made things so much worse. Would it have killed you to add groups of enemies to the world, and to trigger combat when you step next to them, and to make them go away once you’ve defeated them? Seriously, I loved the road fights, and I hated the random encounters. Please don’t do random encounters again.
The final fight with the thief was fine. I don’t understand what causes them to heal, which was a little frustrating, but I got there in the end through the power of banishing her partner and then pressing the attack buttons. Thank you, Zantetsuken.
Christa once again bowls a perfect 300 on the soundtrack, thankfully; and hiring an outfit designer here was absolutely worth it.
The good things about this game GREATLY outweigh the bad. The bad things I mentioned are either nitpicks or DLC-only issues.
Should you play this for free? Yes!
Is it good enough that you should give the authors $10 (and unlock the DLC?) Yes!
Is it worth playing the DLC that you just paid for? Not unless you REALLY like the beach outfits, or want a sword that can send enemies to the shadow realm.
Hope this was insightful to some of you, and I’ll return with a smile when the (spirit of the) time comes to get my DLC 2 travel stamp. Peace! <3
Holy fuck can we please get some sort of "I have absolutely zero interest in listening to repeated transphobic and fascist bullshit, let me skip to the part where we beat this scumbag into the ground." button for Gaius?
That dialogue drags on wellbeyond any reasonable degree of tolerance, and if the deadnaming is censored then why not censor the misgendering similarly? I get that it's hammering in "This is a bad person", but it's not fun, it's not interesting, it's wasting my time and presenting far-too-real bigotry that I would never willingly tolerate for such a duration.
You're meant to be leveling up your items like the tutorial demonstrated, and using Ravage to amplify your Exploit damage, along with Taunt and Heal for sustain. If you're struggling, make sure you're upgrading ALL your equipped items and then buying the next tier at the shop.
Been waiting for this for a long time and really like it so far! I hate to even ask this question because the game's aesthetic is so stylish but...is there a way to alter the in-game font to something less pixelated? I find the smaller text for item descriptions, weapon stories, etc., extremely difficult to read unless I take the resolution down to a pretty small window. If it's baked into the game I can make do, but just wanted to check, thanks!
I really really enjoyed this game. the writing is excellent, and I fell in love with all of the characters; I think Valentin is probably my favorite, but it's a bit like choosing which of your comfort foods is "better" than the others. the combat system was really fun and engaging, and I liked it enough to play on Devil Clock and didn't regret it. I'm excited for the rest of the DLC, and I'd absolutely recommend this to anyone. love the art, love the writing, the soundtrack is a banger, A+ 10/10
the trick is to make sure that you're always leveling to the highest tier of gear available, which is fairly easy once you get access to the stickers—and on Devil Clock you get lots of stickers! otherwise, 5 Battle Energy and the consumable that gives you nuclear element are both extremely powerful, so much so that the game turns the latter one off for most boss fights.
for strategy, using Bleed on the last board, Sam set to Splash Heal, and using debuffs/taunt/Life on the preceding boards while you wait for Sword of Fate was my strategy. Bleed does ridiculous amounts of damage, so I had it on both Val and Grace, with Smite on board one literally just for Smite Only challenges. I used Angela exclusively to generate Ravage meter.
whatever your last board is, is what you'll spend the most time in naturally, so it's good to have it be consistent exploit damage + group healing. whatever your second board is should be buffs and heals, because until you get a Fast passive trinket you should always immediately advance to the second board. I put "situational powerhouse" moves on board one, since you use it the least; there's a combo with Fast passive skills and a tier IX trinket to get powerful staggers easily, but I think it's more fun to figure that out on your own.
There's a couple of important things about Deadname which should make the fight easier:
During his first phase, he won't actually attack you at all - he just counterattacks. That means that you can take the fight entirely at your own pace - if you're low on health, just stop hitting him and heal up.
Once you drop him to half health, he'll use an attack which will always wipe your whole party except for Sam. Make sure Sam has Life or Half-Life so she can revive the others!
Once you've got everyone back up, the second phase of the fight is much like the first. The difference now is that he'll start attacking even if you don't hit him first - but he still won't do it very often, so you should be able to get away with using similar tactics. (if you have the DLC, you can just skip this phase with Zantetsuken)
Also, Sam's Slow spell is very good in this fight (as it is in general in fights against a single enemy) - if you combine it with Illegal Fireworks to instantly stagger the boss, you can essentially cheese the fight.
Fate doesn't cause damage to the player—it sounds like someone probably just got attacked during the animation. The Sword of Fate in fact does increasing amounts of healing to the party each time you use it, to a maximum of your current rank * 10.
Rank disparities do increasing amounts of damage based on the gap. A Rank III ability attacking a Rank II enemy will do 1.5x damage, but a Rank III ability will do 2x damage.
I've tried with both the Xbox Series X (identified by macOS as "Xbox Wireless Controller" and PS5 controllers (identified by macOS as "DualSense Wireless Controller"). The only steps I've taken are to connect the controller via Bluetooth and start the game.
I'll look into this, but I think the controller library I use may not support either of those controllers wirelessly. If using a cable isn't an option, I've heard Steam's controller remapping is generally pretty successful, so that may also help.
This was so much fun until Chapter 2. The difficulty scales immensely and the combat becomes so incredibly dragged out and tedious even on Story mode. It definitely does not make the game more of a VN as promised.
The introduction of elemental typing in Ch. 2 would have been fine if A) there was some kind of warning that this was coming and B) there was a warning that you'd accidentally heal enemies if you attacked them with a certain element. There's no real way to plan ahead, you never know what you're fighting next and at a certain point, your strongest gear gives you elemental passives whether you want them or not.
Also, understanding your party strength is extremely difficult. Enemies do an incredible amount of damage which is doubled if someone has an elemental weakness. Yes, you can vary your gear with different elements but as you're scrolling through your moves, if you get caught with a weakness, you take so much damage. Staying on one gear set slows down your damage output, making the fights take even longer than they already are. And unless you're hitting the enemies with their elemental weakness, your party does so little damage even with the best gear you can get at the gas station (upgraded) which is always a rank or two below the monsters you encounter. It's discouraging.
And then there's (maybe spoiler?) Gaius. This boss shifts his element so at least one person in your party is going to be healing him at any given time. Not that it matters because your damage output is so incredibly low. You're hitting him for 2 or 3 damage while he hits you for a whopping 90 - 180! His attack speed is fast, so there's no way to outheal him with Sam before someone is face down. Having to pause, use a healing item, unpause and repeat every few seconds is not ideal. In JRPGs, this usually means that the party is supposed to lose, that it's scripted. Here, it's not, and I cannot figure out how to just get it over so I can get back to the charming, funny and fun story. I am literally stuck and no other fight before this was this impossible.
I genuinely do not understand what went wrong here, if I'm missing something about gear and combat or if it really is poor scaling, but I feel as though the frequency of the battles, the difficulty and tediousness of them and the confusing gear system are actively working to keep me from just enjoying an awesome gay quest to defeat evil. I want to finish the game.
If Gaius is doing over 90 damage to you, it sounds like you're trying to fight him with characters who are three ranks lower than him. My advice would be to focus on making sure all everyone's items are at least equivalent to Rank V before challenging him. Hope that helps!
Hi, thanks for your response. It doesn't help because at this point in the game, you only have access to rank 3+ gear from the gas station and upgrades which is rank 4 equivalent according to the menu. The only rank 4 gear I have (which I think I may have gotten from the sidequest bounties but there aren't any left to do) forces passive elements that actively heal enemies if their element is green/nature over every ability, so when Gaius switches his element they're rendered useless and take double damage from weakness. That's an issue that extends to all fights. Are players really expected to run from fights and switch around the gear every single time they encounter an enemy that they're disadvantaged against because of forced blanket passives? Every time?
So if Gaius requires rank 5 gear and rank 4 isn't available in the gas station at this point, how do I get it and do they all have forced passives?
You should have access to Rank V+ (Effectively VI) gear at this point. Chapter 1 caps you at Rank III. Chapter 2 caps you at Rank V. Remember that you unlock the next tier by having everyone wearing 3 trinkets of the previous rank+.
You can also load up everyone with 5 Battle Energy once you're using Rank V+ gear to get an effective Rank VII, which should really drop the damage you're taking if you're still having difficulty.
THANK YOU so much for saying how gear unlocks. I couldn't understand why I was getting rinsed in every fight, even though I was leveling up my gear.
I admit this has been frustrating to play, but that is because I have no familiarity with the FF13 style of battles and I have no idea where the game tells you that you NEED to level up your gear to unlock the next tier at the shop. Fingers crossed I can catch up enough to where I don't have to completely restart!
First - thank you for mentioning the elementals. Was just this morning stuck in a fight where I couldn't figure out why these two bozos (the vine guys) just weren't dying. I had thought that you got the best element out of all equipment you had, but maybe that's not true?
Anyway, I can return the favor - when you run away, the game puts you back right *before* the fight, so you can respec and go back in. (Just swapped my VI grass with a IV fire, and suddenly those two just went down like chumps.)
Only the passive ability "[element] Added " gives you that element on every ability. Otherwise, your element is determined by which ability is active at the time. If you're ever unsure, you can check the status page in the menu, or look next to the character's name in battle to see which elemental affinities they currently have at that particular moment.
i agree with you that things dont feel exactly balanced at chapter 2 and it could use clearer instruction on level up and elemental importance because if you do it wrong it is wayyyy harder than it needs to be even on easy lol.
went from cute and fun to very frustrating and upsetting. but i think i got it now maybe.
idk I think Bleed is probably the best exploit skill, and drastically overshadows any Destruction skills—especially since Destruction gets linked to elements, which perform very poorly; having bosses with multiple elements or the ability to change elements, without the player being able to change, makes them useless since they are effective for basically one phase and a liability for the others. Smite ends up being *okay* but you're actively incentivized to use it as little as possible, even with high stagger/re-stagger strats. Meanwhile, Bleed hits like a truck, is untyped, and the self-damage won't put you in danger if you are playing around it.
Taunt is also underwhelming, as long as I'm complaining, especially in fights with multiple strong enemies; getting the AI to spread out attacks is much safer than everyone hammering Valentin all at once; they don't benefit enough from the defense buff, in my opinion. going from 70% of their life per hit to 60% of their life per hit does not change the reality that they'll be two-shot.
the game was a ton of fun, but as far as the battle system goes I found much more success in playing against a lot of what is "expected" in the strategy, as far as what specific abilities to equip. the element system just isn't flexible enough to do anything helpful, again especially since the bosses are multi-element. there's no way to really know ahead of time what element is good against road enemies because you can't see what you're going to fight; it's really Nuclear or Bust, and with Control Rod you even lose that option too.
EDIT: I feel like this maybe sounds like I'm being really harsh on the battle system, but I have to reiterate that I really really enjoyed it and I loved the system that was presented. I think one small change—being able to hotswap element—would fix all of my concerns with the strategy. I think ravage stuff and the stagger meter was dope and I liked figuring out the re-stagger strategy, I am very satisfied with that; but changing the element issue would have made the "element trinket" quest rewards feel good instead of feeling like I got rewarded with 3 stickers.
Maybe a dumb question: if I want to support y'all here on itch but also am an achievements nerd sometimes and considering wanting to play the game on Steam for Steam achievements can you install the itch.io DLC on top of the Steam copy (and still get Steam achievements)?
Definitely a bug. Can you send more information about your platform and system specs in an email to email@example.com? (If you're able to get a screen recording of the issue, that would be even more helpful.) Thanks!
hi!! super excited for this game! i was wondering if this game has any parts that require manual dexterity, like timing or platforming or stuff, in terms of accessibility? thanks for yr time, have a great day! :)
from what i have seen, the game plays with 6 keys/buttons total, and most of the time you'll have to press 4 of them one after the other. timing is important to get the best out of combos, but you can mostly plan ahead. there is no quick-time event, key smashing or super-tight timing. there are also multiple difficulty settings, so getting good combos might not be very important in the lowest ones